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This session brings practical parenting advice from God’s Word. Bruce Hempel, Muriel Hempel, and Sabine Schnackenberg share biblical principles, personal lessons, and hands-on training tips to help parents nurture, lead, and disciple their children with love, authority, and wisdom.
Bruce Hempel opens the meeting with a song for parents, emphasizing the precious, fleeting opportunity to nurture children in a godly home. He then presents a structured framework of essential lessons children should learn, correlating parental goals with spiritual goals from God.
[00:00]Bruce sings Have You Heard the Holy Spirit Speaking Clearly?[03:40]Bruce opens with prayer, asking God to bless the time for the benefit of parents, children, and His glory.[04:00]He introduces a two-column framework: “Lessons of Childhood” with “Goals for Parents” and corresponding “Goals for God.”[05:44]First Parental Goal: “My parents love and delight in me.” He states this is the most important lesson, as it opens a child’s heart to learn.[06:56]Second Parental Goal: “My parents listen to and understand me.” Bruce warns that a child thinking they are not understood is a foundation for mistrust and rebellion.[08:03]Third Parental Goal: “I submit to and obey my parents from my heart.” He explains this is a lofty goal requiring a won heart, and that discipline (chastening) is the “other wing” alongside love and understanding.[09:09]He clarifies that a relationship based only on strictness is like a bird with one wing; both love and discipline are needed.[09:54]Bruce admits he overused obedience/discipline as a young parent and had to learn to prioritize loving and delighting in his children.
[11:24]First God Goal: “God loves and delights in me.” He explains that a positive experience with parents makes it natural to transfer that understanding to God.[12:07]He shares that many men in prison struggle with the concept of God as a loving Father because they lacked that model.
[12:58]Second God Goal: “God listens to and understands me.” Bruce notes this is the foundation for prayer and relating to God.[13:29]Third God Goal: “I submit to and obey God from my heart.” He acknowledges this is a lofty goal even for adults.[14:57]Final Overarching Goal: “God’s word is true, and it becomes my conviction and my commitment.” This box encompasses all other truths and forms the child’s conscience based on Scripture, not just cultural ideas of right and wrong.
Muriel Hempel focuses on the parental role as a leader, defining it as instructing and nurturing from truth with a calm, dispassionate love. She emphasizes the necessity of upholding parental authority to ensure a child’s safety and spiritual thriving.
[18:19]Muriel begins by reflecting on the weight of becoming a parent and an authority for the first time.[19:46]She defines a leader as someone who “instructs and nurtures using principles of the truth from a seemingly dispassionate love” because they want those under their authority to live and thrive.[21:23]She states parents must nurture, provide safety, and lead children toward truth. If a child will not follow authority, parents must take steps to ensure they do.[21:51]Muriel explains that when a child’s heart is not aligned with truth and they are rebellious, action (often a spanking) is needed to get their attention and turn them back.[22:35]She gives the example of a child lying and not being sorry, where she would apply a spank to communicate the seriousness of the issue.
[23:29]She stresses that rebellion against parental authority must be dealt with, or the child will continue in foolishness and potentially rebel against God.[24:09]Muriel uses the example of pioneer families to illustrate that obedience was often a matter of life and death, and parents couldn’t spend excessive time reasoning.[25:59]She balances this by saying parents must also listen, nurture, and delight in their children, bringing them alongside in work and play.[26:20]Muriel cautions not to exasperate children and to have age-appropriate expectations, which requires prayer and seeking the Lord’s guidance.[27:36]She compares a parent’s firm push to a sergeant’s, necessary to help a child overcome selfishness and learn to do good, hard things.[29:24]She reiterates that any disregard for parental authority must be dealt with seriously, as God gave that authority.[30:48]For public misbehavior, Muriel suggests a matter-of-fact approach: for a young child throwing a tantrum, pick them up and take them out; for an older, disrespectful child, a spank may be necessary if they are bucking authority.[32:19]She concludes that leadership should carry dignity and authority, and children should not mock the authority God has given parents, nor should parents abuse it.
Sabine Schnackenberg offers practical, hands-on advice for child training, emphasizing the need for intentionality, starting early, and maintaining a positive connection with the child. She also discusses managing parental anger and adjusting mindsets.
[34:32]Sabine opens with a disclaimer that she is not an expert, did not do everything right, and is now learning from a grandparent’s perspective.[36:10]She advises that when something consistently isn’t working, parents must take time to reflect and make a mental plan for change.[37:18]Sabine states that if parents want reliable obedience (like pioneer children), training must start as early as six months old.[38:57]She gives an example: to teach “no,” place a forbidden object nearby, and when the baby crawls to it, say “no” and provide a small, immediate consequence (like a flick on the hand). Repeat this training in short sessions daily.
[40:44]She advocates using natural or logical consequences where safe, and spanking as an artificial consequence for dangerous or non-negotiable behaviors.[41:38]Sabine strongly advises treating phones (and similar devices) like guns—completely off-limits from day one because of their potential to harm a child’s soul.[43:00]For training a child to sit still (e.g., for devotions), start with very short periods (5 minutes) and practice daily at home, not in public.[45:00]She recommends teaching children to whisper by practicing “loud talk” and “whisper talk” as a game.[46:13]To teach coming when called, start as a happy game with hugs when the crawling baby comes. When they become toddlers and disobey, explain the consequence and then discipline if needed, followed by positive practice.[48:47]Connection is Key: Sabine affirms Bruce’s point that connection with the child is the number one priority before any discipline, and it starts before birth with positive expectations.[50:06]She advises parents to consciously avoid a mindset that children are making life difficult, and instead view challenges as part of the blessing God has given.[51:19]On Managing Anger: Sabine encourages parents to identify their triggers (e.g., pride, selfishness, unmet expectations, feeling overwhelmed) and plan to avoid them.[55:03]She suggests that if life feels continuously overwhelming, it’s time to ask for help from community, husband, or friends, and to evaluate if there is too much in your life.[01:05:41]Discipline Calmly: Do not discipline in anger. If possible, tell the child you are angry and need to pray, then calm down before addressing the issue.[01:07:30]If discipline (e.g., spanking) isn’t working and a child is “stuck,” stop, reconnect positively, and revisit the training later.[01:08:43]Focus training on teaching the right behavior (modeling, practicing how to fix a mess) rather than just punishing the wrong.[01:10:45]She advises changing unhelpful mindsets: e.g., see yourself as a growing parent, not a failure; see a child’s behavior as a reflection of their needs/development, not your worth.-[01:12:22]She cautions that “easy” children need just as much intentional connection and attention as more demanding children.[01:13:36]Consider that a child’s misbehavior may be an attempt to communicate an unmet need (hunger, discomfort) rather than intentional defiance.[01:17:08]Be willing to adapt your approach and lifestyle. Pray, seek advice, and create margin in your schedule to avoid rushing and to allow time for reflection and intentional parenting.
Scripture References
- Proverbs
- John 17:17
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